Lesson From Last Night: An American Woman (a bit of a hint from last night’s show) canNOT out sorry a Canadian. Any American canNOT out sorry a Canadian. Believe me, I tried. I lost that Sorry Off in a big way.
Backstage (or whatever you call that narrow room with a window looking onto the floor below) at The Troubadour, last night.
Talented Musician Who Happens to be Canadian (extending his hand toward me): I’m sorry, have we met?
Me (extending my hand toward TMWHTBC): Ah yeah, millions of times. (Okay, that may have been a slight exaggeration. About five times, quite a few years ago.)
TMWHTBC: I’m sorry? We have?
Me (seeing he felt awful for not remembering): Oh yeah, but don’t worry.
TMWHTBC: Really, we have? I’m so sorry.
Me: No, I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean to… uh haaa, you know… make you feel badly for not…
TMWHTBC: I’m sorry.
Me: No. No. I.. I’m sorry.
TMWHTBC (with his right hand on his chest to convey his deepest apologies): Really, I am. So sorry.
I couldn’t top the sincerity of his sorry, so I just grabbed my foot and began lifting it toward my mouth. Then I slunked down The Troubadour’s kooky carnival stairs, feeling really, really sorry.
If you ever need to apologize to a Canadian just know you’re going to lose. Simply stick your foot in your mouth and skulk away, admitting defeat. Much quicker.
*As I often say, I make mistakes so you don’t have to.
Formula: 1 sorry Canadian + 1 sorry American = American skulking away in defeat.
(Note: My husband’s Canadian, so I poke fun with love. He used to play bass with Burton Cummings of the Guess Who. I took the below video of Randy Bachman–an old friend of my husband’s–and his band, last night after the sorry off.)
UPDATE!
Well, the planets must be aligned in some kooky new way, because this Canadian “Apology Act” just came to me via Instagram (I wasn’t even looking). Read it here: https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/09a03
Excerpted from the Ontario law site:
Apology Act, 2009
S.O. 2009, CHAPTER 3
Consolidation Period: From April 23, 2009 to the e-Laws currency date.
No Amendments.
Definition
1. In this Act,
“apology” means an expression of sympathy or regret, a statement that a person is sorry or any other words or actions indicating contrition or commiseration, whether or not the words or actions admit fault or liability or imply an admission of fault or liability in connection with the matter to which the words or actions relate. 2009, c. 3, s. 1.
Effect of apology on liability
2. (1) An apology made by or on behalf of a person in connection with any matter,
(a) does not, in law, constitute an express or implied admission of fault or liability by the person in connection with that matter;
